There are more than ten times a day when I wish social media didn’t exist, particularly because of the over-stimulation from the overflowing news, gossip, and even the good things like opportunities and knowledge. Social media is also the root of toxic productivity. It always feels silly and a little depressive how I spend hours consuming self-development content yet constantly fail to implement it.
Amid the age of abundant information, nonetheless, I still found some important points people managed to miss. Maybe because the public loves the feel-good cliché? But that leads me to write this, so you don’t have to write an article with the same title next year!
Things take time
By time, I mean TIME. A LONG time, not just one or two months. It takes TIME to find your clique in college, it takes TIME to heal from heartbreak, it takes TIME to save money, it takes TIME to feel at home in a new place, and it takes TIME to process life changes. Nothing is instant.
Just because someone is getting hundreds thousands of social media engagement in three months, or others can buy a house in a year, doesn’t mean you have to do the same.
But most importantly, what I wish someone would tell me is this: If things are urgent enough for you to make it quick, let it take time instead.
Build a network and make it sustainable
The word “networking” is worth the over-emphasis. However, what should be emphasized more is the sustainability of it. I wish someone had told me that building a network takes more than just “What’s your name?” or “What are you majoring in?” questions. See if what the person is doing is aligned with the things you want to pursue in the future, see if the value they hold clashes with yours, and see how far you can respect the person you want to connect with.
Because let’s be real, we can’t like everyone and not everyone likes us. It’s better to contribute your energy to connections that can give mutual benefits instead of getting it drained by spending it on the wrong ones.
Be involved with communities whose values and objectives you fancy, contribute to causes you hold dearly to your heart, and throw yourself in an environment that can respect your time and effort.
For an experiment, though, you can definitely try things outside of your bubble and comfort zone. It WON’T be easy, but what you learn from that experience will make it worth it. 100% guaranteed.
It’s okay to miss out on things
College life is BIG. Big and noisy and crowded and chaotic. There are tons of events. They can be academic, organizational, circle catch-up, or entertainment like concerts and performances.
People say, “Don’t be afraid to miss out,” but not a lot reassure us that it is okay to miss out on things. We are not built to carry everything that this world has to offer and even if we do, not everything in this world is up to our liking.
Pay attention to your priorities, values, and what YOU like. Things and people will fall into place just right if you do so. If you have zero idea about your preferences, definitely try things out, and WITHOUT regret. Regret gets you nowhere.
Change is brutal
Undergoing changes in life is so hard. So. Hard. But it’s inevitable. It’ll happen no matter what the scale is. There will be days when you look into the mirror and wonder “Who the hell is that in the mirror.” Literally. And those will be tough days, but I promise it will pass even if it takes time.
A lot of advice may prepare us for external change but not internal. If one day you feel like you are an alien in your own life, I want you to remember that it’s still your life, and that’s part of the process. At times like that, please keep in touch with people who if not know you best, at least have spent the most time with you, try old hobbies, and spare time to journal and reflect. Those three are extremely important. And if it still doesn’t work, don’t hesitate to cry out loud.
It’s not complicated to connect with nature
I read a lot about the importance of connecting with nature and healing through it. Some say, “hug a tree!” “go on a hike!” “swim in the ocean!” But that sounds like a big effort. Now, I’m telling you to take a walk outside and grab a leaf. Literally, touch some grass. Feel the bushes on the sidewalk as if it’s your last time. You’ll feel lighter when you get home.
You deserve the things you need
Stop restricting yourself from fulfilling your basic needs. You need a pair of slippers for your bathroom? Go buy it. You need a thermal water bottle for winter? Go buy it. You need a new set of pajamas because the old ones are getting small? Go buy it. Just because there is a sufficient substitute doesn’t mean they function the same. There is a reason why you need them.
You may think you can save money by lowering your standard of basic needs, but it won’t fulfill you and give you small hurdles that pile up into stress instead. Believe me, you don’t want that.
One thing, though: Be smart about differentiating your needs AND wants.
Journal at night instead of in the morning
I refuse to submit to what the academic journals say about morning pages. I hate them. Due to school and work, a lot of people might not have much time in the morning. Some morning routines can be packed with making breakfast, working out, preparing lunch, nature’s calling, and other work.
The business in the morning keeps my mind focused on what I should do instead of what I should think of. Doing morning pages does the opposite. It brings up unnecessary thoughts in the morning that could ruin your mood for the day, especially if you didn’t sleep well the night before or had a nightmare.
On the contrary, bedtime journal eases your mind and relaxes your body into resting mode. You can use them to unwind and reflect on the day, as well as prepare for the next day so you can operate better in the morning. It also makes you look forward to your bedtime routine so you pay more attention to your sleeping pattern. Below are some prompts I recommend you to answer before turning your lights off.
Those are the seven points I’m grateful for to have learned throughout the year’s trial-and-error. Failures can be painful and new knowledge can be frightening, but we have no option but to keep going and look forward to what will unfold before our eyes.
Happy New Year!
